So I have a sister-in-law who likes to quietly and with master manipulation sow seeds of discord between my family and myself, particularly my brother. I would like to sew her 20-something mean sorority girl ass mouth shut, sit her down and explain to her that she has emotional issues.
She and I had a brief FB messenger discussion in which I chided her for some of her statements. I made some factual statements about my relationship with my parents and she told me she disagreed. Who is so ignorant and egotistical that they would explain to someone else about their 30-year relationship with two other people, especially since she’s been around for like, um, none of it? Dumbass.
I did not express this to her in this manner and she still got so upset she wouldn’t have any contact with me for 6 months, even though I reached out to her 3 different times. Once I even told her a story of when Hillary Clinton was in another country and the prime minister was having to work with parliament members who used to be rebels and had tried to take her life. This woman still sat down at the table with these men and tried to bring about democracy in her country. If she could do that, I reasoned with my sister-in-law, than surely we could talk through our differences.
Grow the fuck up.
The first time I met my sister-in-law was about a year after she started dating my brother. Unfortunately, it was at my little sister’s funeral.
I had checked her out from the moment mom and dad told us they were dating, though. My sister and I did it together. We used to sit on the phone and scour her Facebook page and we thought she was a bimbo and a hot mess. I told my little bro a little bit about this once, but he was so crushed, I backed off of it. My sister never met my brother’s future wife but we were always protective of him and came to the conclusion immediately that he was waaayyyy too good for her. She was younger, in a sorority and quite flighty. Her undergrad was in communications–the useless degree you get when you can’t hack higher education.
She sported pics of herself with friends and shots with a clock in the background that said 8 am. Classy. She actually posted things that made NO sense. They were not even words. I guess they were supposed to be private jokes? That ‘communication’ teaching didn’t seem to be taking.
Once, after my sister died, my little bro came to visit. He listed several reasons he hadn’t proposed yet. When they were first dating he went to Thailand to try to help homeless women and children sex workers. He was very vulnerable and doing difficult work and she just wasn’t there for him. He said she was always laughing her troubles away and she got it from her family; always felt the need to put a smile on her face. She also never brought up my sister and was unable to offer support in that area either. This was a little girl who could not acknowledge or handle the darker side of life. Nobody said to wallow in it, but it exists and to be unable to look that in the face speaks to some extreme emotional issues. My brother hates conflict, too, though, so I can see how most of the time this works out for him.
As I’ve mentioned in other blog pieces, he seemed lost as to his role in the family after my sister died and changed drastically. For the better part of 6 yrs, he’s gone long periods of time without speaking to me. But something happened that has given me a potential new perspective on everything . . .
I finally gave up and let him have his way. I said if he didn’t want to be my brother, then I wasn’t putting any more work into the relationship. He could let me know if he ever wanted a sister. Of course it is painful, though, and as a way of expressing myself, I posted a pic on Instagram. I addressed it to his wife (I don’t really like claiming her, to be frank) too, only because she uses Instagram so much more than he does and I wanted him to see the pic. I even wrote to her that she and I were okay. We were good. No issues. No drama. Mind your own business. You haven’t been there for our entire relationship. You didn’t carry him in your arms until they hurt. You, sister-in-law-yuk, didn’t watch his soccer and basketball games, or dress him up. You didn’t watch him go through his teenage pot and shroom phase or buy him his first tattoo. You don’t know the heartbreak.
I posted this:
He decided to “unfollow” me. SHE BLOCKED ME.
She. Blocked. Me.
I’ve never, NEVER, written anything disrespectful on her account. If she doesn’t like mine, don’t look at it!!! But to block me?!? It really upset me because I rely heavily on her account to keep up with my brother’s like. MY flesh and blood. Now there is only one other person in this world who has the same flesh and blood as I do, who came from the same two people. And her petty ass wants to block me for something that a) wasn’t about her; b) is true based on his actions and c) is none of her blankety, blank, blank, motherblanking business.
I wrote her on Facebook and ask her why she did it. I also explained why it upset me. It’s called trying to have an adult conversation you damaged, mean sorority girl.
Effing silence. I don’t have her number. I don’t even remember her maiden name. She’s the type that went to FSU for her undergrad and UF for her graduate degree. No loyalty.
She talks a good game. She smiles, is sweet to everyone, but given her behavior, what part may she have played in sowing seeds of discord between my brother and myself?
If you’re blocking your own sister-in-law on Instagram when you were never disrespected, and refuse to have a conversation about it . . . what else are you doing behind the scenes, what are you whispering in others’ ears? What are you up to, mean sorority girl?
You may have played the rest of my family, but you have made no attempt at a relationship with me, despite the fact I’ve been nice to you for my brother’s sake. Don’t let me find out there’s more. So if I were you, I would sew that mouth shut and mind my own damn business.
Fuck. In-laws suck ass.
What sucks more: when they became engaged I thought it might be nice to have a sister-in-law since I didn’t have a sister anymore.